Calming Canines T-Shirts

"My master has built himself a "Zen Garden"! Now, I'm the one who's stressed as I'm not allowed in the garden anymore..."

"Pick me!"

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"He's got no idea how to run a Husky team."

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"Have you tried biting him?"

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

"Cheers mate, you've done me a solid."

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

'What is it Spot? What are you trying to tell me?'

Dogs Must Be On A Leash.

"You've already been for a walk."

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

Dog Messages

Giacometti's less famous 'Man Walking Dog'

Dog in therapy.

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

"You can stop now. The squirrels are gone."

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

"… She's simply asking that you no longer refer to her as 'the dog.'"

"It's been one of those days. I don't know if I’ve been chasing my tail or it's been chasing me."

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"

'Who handles your media, Rex?'

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

"Jerk." "Jackass." "Screw you." "Bite me."

I hear you, man. Look, if you need anything, my door is always open.

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

'No need to shout.'

You May Bang Your Head Here/You May Talk To Here.