Canine Meditators Gifts

'Relax... breathe... visualize you inner dog treat...'

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

Chiller Theatre

Zenemies.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

Yoga with Baby

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

'Have you been working out?'

"Did you unpack your baggage yourself?"

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

"They always fall for the old 'high-impact yoga' trick!"

Working from OM.

"Enlightenment can only come when you realize there is more to life than gluten free hot sauce."

Ned's Northingness: All the Nothing You Need To Achieve Mindfulness

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

Yoga Dentist has sign on wall: 'Open Mouth Insert Foot'

Fitness Guru

Nervous Buddha

'I've overcome my fears of personal mortality and the indifference of the Universe, but I'm still a little worried about those skip-tracers.'

'My name is John and I haven't had a think for 36 days.'

'Oh, he's pretty wise -- I clerked for him.'

"Hi! Are you enjoying the peace and quiet?!"

"I just attained enlightenment! - Gimme a high-five!"

Descartes' dog.

'Goopta believes in a businesslike approach to enlightenment.'

Ken wandered home wondering what the lunar new year would bring. . . like every other man and his dog.

All-knowing mountain guru consults the internet.

"I accept the cookies I cannot change."

"My koan is to comprehend the sound of one hand clapping."

'Embrace nonviolence!', 'I don't see how THAT'S going to help.'

He was reaching for enlightenment and threw out his back.

"I'm going on a retreat."

"I bark, therefore I am."

'Hey, that's for MY inner peace, go get your own!'