Canine Contemplators Gifts

"I find it increasingly difficult to remain man's best friend."

"Stop worrying if you're a good dog or a bad dog. Just be the best dog you can be."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

"Boy, I wish I had brought some magazines..."

Descartes' dog.

"My job is not as easy as it looks: You have to learn about astronomy and celestial mechanics to be able to accurately predict sunrise and sunset..."

Ken wandered home wondering what the lunar new year would bring. . . like every other man and his dog.

'He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, who cares...'

"I bark, therefore I am."

I wonder if they can think...

Meditation for dogs

If fifty is the new seventy, when is the new dead?

'I like to think of the universe as a God shaped whole.'

Alcohol 'Nector of the Gods' 'Devils Brew!'

A Cow Funeral.

Descartes' Cat - I meow, therefore I am.

"Do not feel bad - violence is acceptable when the purpose of the toy is its own destruction."

'Relax... breathe... visualize you inner dog treat...'

Prayers For Agnostics

'!!X@#!! Reincarnation!'

"Whay do they think about all day?"

"Should we just write them off as a tragic mistake..?"

The Guy Who Mixed Up His To-Do List And His Bucket List

"The glass is half full�"

Max reflects on what he might have become if only he didn't drop out of obedience school.

"...But here in the outside world, I need more time and I need more space."

"I really didn't enjoy working five days a week, fifty weeks a year for forty years, but I needed the money."

'Just a heads up. The 'Big Guy' is not a fan of religion.'

Cat Philosophy

Depressed cat says: 'Lives are hard and then, eventually, you die.'