Calm Procrastinators Gifts

'Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until next Monday?'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

The Graveyard of Past Deadlines

Procrastinators Incorporated

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. That's a relief! How much can they expect out of your on your first day?

Zen and the Art of Procrastination.

As the horrible signs began to appear, students would go to any length to avoid seeing them.

"It's Tuesday. Is there any point starting a new project so shortly before the weekend?"

"I'm not doodling. I'm illuminating my homework."

Rip van Winkle goes back to the office/

Reasons to avoid training No. 2453

Welcome Sufferers of Stage Fright

Yeti/Not Yeti

To do list

"I'm sorry - Mr Jensen is not in the office at this time."

Man watching a flower slowly wilt, and just as its about to die he waters it

The Male Biological Clock.

'Don't strain yourself, make two trips.'

Break Glass in Case of Emergency

"You're not ready for school to start, are you?"

"I'm not either goofing off! - I'm doing a thought experiment!"

"O.K., she's sitting down to write in three....two....one...."

Ostrich in an hourglass puts its head in the ground.

'Being sick can sure affect your grades. The kid I cheat off of has been out all week.'

"Quick, make a mess. Company's coming."

...When are you going to make your retirement official?

Me at 22 vs. me at 29

'I don't mind coming to work it's that long wait to go home that gets me.'

Ostrich with head in sand.

"Sharp pencils, clean paper, good light, comfortable chair, hot coffee, warm room... ready to work... perhaps the room is too warm..."

'Don't blame me - if you opened later I'd be here on time!'

£150,000 Per Annum - Daydreaming again, Foster?

"The plan was to work out today, but now the toaster is taking so long that I think it'll have to wait until tomorrow."