Calculator-free Enthusiast Gifts

"Frank, I need your help. The computers are down, but I was told you know how to multiply two numbers together."

Math Dreams

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

Counting part time employees is the new math.

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

Staff Yearbook

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

"People will pay anything to get away from it all. These babies don't even have WiFi on them."

'I forgave ya for puttin' 'em all in one basket, but this goes too far!'

I love maths.

"There's no phones, social media, selfies, reality TV, online trolls, political-correctness or fake news."

'This red line indicates the change in this red line over a period of time,'

'If they weren't so damned good we might feel a bit more excited about the figures.'

"Well the GOOD news is that if we carry on like this there's a SMALL chance we'll be making a profit in less than 4587 years!"

School Supply Room. Look at this -- a calculator, a protractor and a compass! You've discovered the missing weapons of math instruction!

"Let's bury the TV remote and all the cell phones, then sit back and watch what happens."

"Profits are up 20%, but unfortunately costs are up 50%."

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."

'Well, arithmetic IS important. It let's you understand money so you can buy batteries for your calculator.'

"Hello, police? I'd like to report some suspicious activity. A youth without a phone in his hand."

'...and then you smile and say...all together now...'that's not deductible.'.'

"There's a lot of volatility in the market right now. It's a really exciting time to be in graphs."

'The good news is we've readjusted our expectations.'

"The new tax software is a real eye opener. Every misguided, impulsive purchase I made for the business last year really pops and sizzles in a visual data format!"

'I used to be dull and boring then, one day, I discovered accountancy.'

"Your calculations are right- it's our teabreak!"

'The numbers don't look quite so bad along with the hard liquor.'

I think I have a 45-45 chance of passing my math class.'

'How would you describe yourself?'

'Oh yeah, well your dad may have a better calculator, but my dad can add without one.'

"But it's helping me learn my math!"