Caffeine Seekers Gifts

Dowsing for Coffee

"Look, I'm happy to drop my attachment to ego, but please, don't expect me to give up coffee!"

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

Eternal Student.

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

You've Had Enough!

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

'Would you all please congatulate...'

Writers without borders.

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

'What's holding him up?'

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

"Make sure the coffee has extra caffeine. I want the employees awake during overtime."

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

Decapitated coffee.

National Coffee Day

'You've had enough!'

Coffee Menu

"How about a little more coffee?"

'You've had enough.'

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"