Caffeine-conscious Champs Gifts

"I graduated summa cum laude caffeine-free, I'll have you know."

"Serendipity is not a strategy."

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

You've Had Enough!

"I'm trying to lure in Generation X-ers. They're the new sandwich generation. They're sandwiched between caring for their kids and caring for their parents. So they drink lots and lots of coffee."

Night-shift entrance

"No caffè latte? And you call yourselves a bookstore?"

"He can't be disturbed right now. He's in a meeting with his first cup of coffee."

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

'Sorry we don't do black decaf.'

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

Gosh dern it, Cookie! Thanks to you the boys won't punch cattle without a frothy cup of yer Mesquite Caramel Cappuccino!

'No thanks; can't handle caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, or number six birdshot.'

Boss, what would you say if I told you that if you don't give me a raise, I'll go work somewhere else? I'd say "Wouldn't it be a shame if your letter of recommendation mentioned how you're an awful employee?" And I'd say "Isn't it a shame the town council has made sure this is the only cafe within fifty miles?" But the way, have you delivered my latest care packages to the council members? Very bad man.

Sign reads: No lingering over a good cup of coffee.

"She thinks I think it's real latte, but I know decaf when I taste it."

'Looks like another typical caffeine overdose.'

"Sweet! He upgraded with a cup holder!"

'He's on his sixth cup of coffee.'

"Shall make another pot?"

"Can we stop in here real quick first?"

Not quite Beverly Hills.

"I was offered a hip replacement, so I asked for it to be replaced with a cafetière."

Knights of the Coffee Table

Still working from Hell

'I'm going to put you on a low carb diet,'

"No, I'm afraid that doesn't count."

"It's a mug's game!"

Twitching coffee shop.

Coffee Cartoon - Barista makes tea.

'Because I have 150 term papers to grade and I'm getting drowsy.'

Hey wannabe Steve Jobs, get me a coffee. In a sec. What? I'm live blogging my job. I'm writing a moment-by-moment account of the day and uploading it in real time to the web. Preparing for a massacre. Charming customer.

Corporate Coffee Co.

"Life is complicated. Ordering coffee should be, too."