Coffee-fueled Heroes Gifts

Still working from Hell

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

You've Had Enough!

Night-shift entrance

Too Much Coffee Man

'Frankly, we're looking for someone very much unlike you.'

"Congratulations! You unlocked the devil in your coffee. Microwave a seventh time and you'll meet L. Ron Hubbard."

"Whoever said 'There's nothing new under the sun' first, was a hypocrite."

"I know, I know — it looks silly, but you can’t imagine how warm I am."

Clive would be lost without his morning heart starter.

'I didn't know it was so dangerous. . . Mac's coffee.'

Green Coffee

Not quite Beverly Hills.

Knights of the Coffee Table

Take-A-Break

'Make those to go.'

'We're out of coffee, sir -- would you like me to slap your face a little?'

What's your guess? "Venetian blondes."

"It keeps track of how long you've been wearing workout clothes without actually working out."

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave - all of our other customers are lactose intolerant."

'OK lads...not a word about the barista tournament. As far as our wives are concerned we've been at a rape and pillage seminar in Oslo.'

"I'm writing my eighth memoir."

Witness the power of this fully operational battle station

'Ms. Stevens, I've had four cups of coffee and I'm still sluggish. Would you have security bring in the Tazer.'

De'ja' va - "This coffee is starting to repeat on me!"

"Attention, everyone. After many years of sittng here with his laptop, Ed Fessler is retiring form our coffee shop. Let's hear it for him."

"Jump-start?"

'Early morning is the best time to attack your prey: Before they have the chance to drink their coffee...'

"How's the home schooling going?"

'You've got a very stressful job, right? You're blood group black, no milk and three pieces of sugar.'

'So, here is the scam: You keep them awake at night so I can make a killing in the morning selling coffees...'

"Mornings are much less stressful here since I switched to decaf with a shot of vodka."

Your usual ginseng pumpernickel ostrich-sweat latte? No thanks. I wanna try something different today. The pecan praline white chocolate mocha's also good. Ooh, that sounds good. I'll have one of those. But can you substitute macadamia nut for the pecan? That'll take some work, but it's doable. Thank you. and can you substitute turkey tears for the praline? Turkey tears sound good. And can you substitute pureed bagel for the mocha? Pureed bagel sounds lovely. I see where this is going. And can y

"I can do this to anybody's coffee, Phil."

'Wrong address I'm afraid - I've been on the wagon for 25 years.'