Cable Management Strategist Gifts

Lawn mower - must get longer cable

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

"Nobody is to blame until we pick someone."

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

"When the slowest car in the fast lane don't go any slower than the fastest car in the slow lane."

See? Whenever he's mad at me, he turns off his Touch ID sensor.

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

Internet Cafe.

'I said, how do you like my new communication tool?'

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

'I know it's easy to blame others. That's why I do it.'

Ins and Outs of Sex Therapy

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

These young people need everything spelled out to them! I miss the old days, when a wink was a wink, and a nod was a nod.

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

'There you go again - trying to solve my problems. I am not asking you to do that. I just want you to listen to me.'

'It was at this point that I insisted all employees eat their vegetables.'

"You kids are losing your ability to communicate person-to-person...so we're having a good old-fashioned family talk!"

'Sir, wife number two is on line one and wife number four is on line three ... or is it the other way around?'

Worldwide Global Conglomerate, Takeover Division: 'FRIENDLY',,,'HOSTILE',

'It's a real conundrum. Not sure if I should open it, or beat it.'

'I don't know what's going on, but wipe that look of restrained jubilation off your face!'

Company take-over bid

"This is my stop, Phil, you'll be C.E.O. till Sixty-third Street."

"Since you became a management consultant we don't seem to speak sense any more."

Bank. 18 month CD 1.0815255645% Paying More digits than any other bank. Interest rates are so low! It's hard to believe this CD has reached maturity --- Just look at how little it's grown! Investing seems extremely risky these days. There's no safe place to get a decent return. They always say investing is a roller coaster. Yeah, but it's not true. On a roller coaster you get back to where you started!

'Middle managers play tennis.'

'He's particularly sensitive to criticism that the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing.'

"Effective and CLEAR communication with customers is ESSENTIAL so we're going to practise drilling down to identify core interpersonal information transfer methodologies to accelerate a meaningful dialogue."

'Why do I always pick the slow moving queue?'

"Great! Now I'm torn between whether to post rants on X or Meta."

"My door's always open...but there is an invisible fence."