Cable Management Enthusiast Gifts

"I'm fed up... When are they sorting out this wireless network?"

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

'I don't understand. You've wasted the whole interview going on and on about what you know... I think you'd better start telling me who you know.'

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

Exposed Intimacy Safety Vulnerability Hidden Enmity

'I've been watching TV all my life. I was born cable ready.'

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

Lawn mower - must get longer cable

Even though we have to keep our distance...

'What did your grandmother and I do before we had 600 channels? Go ask your 12 aunts and uncles.'

"As a voter, I don't follow any party line, I follow a cable channel."

The scourge of the 'burbs, cable pirates board another innocent hom in their unceasing search for that one extra channel, the occasional first-run movie, or the highly-prized pay-per-view sports events..

'Male and Female He created them.'

Lovers greeting each other

Minutes since the TV broke.

Midwife presents a baby with its own volume control: 'Finally, evolution has done its thing.'

The plumber asks out the cable lady.

Santa's Problem

Nest of cables

'You taught him to speak, now teach him to turn down the volume!'

"The doctor says you can go home. We'll get cable."

"Line one is on line two..."

"We take connectivity very seriously."

"This medication may interact with paying your rent and being able to afford cable."

"He must be a smart phone executive."

'You read? What kind of entertainment is that?'

"It's the school run."

"I assume you have internet access."

'I see that you make friends easily.'

"I would've called and cancelled, but you know how I hate disappointing cable companies."