Cable Management Aficionado Gifts

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

'I don't understand. You've wasted the whole interview going on and on about what you know... I think you'd better start telling me who you know.'

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

Exposed Intimacy Safety Vulnerability Hidden Enmity

'I've been watching TV all my life. I was born cable ready.'

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

Nearly a third of the earth's life-forms have gone extinct. Cut! Stop with all the facts. This is debate club! But we're using a cable tv talk show format! What should I say? Unsupported opinions

Lawn mower - must get longer cable

'What did your grandmother and I do before we had 600 channels? Go ask your 12 aunts and uncles.'

"As a voter, I don't follow any party line, I follow a cable channel."

'Rudolph, I've reason to believe that you're moonlighting for a mobile phone company.'

Lovers greeting each other

The scourge of the 'burbs, cable pirates board another innocent hom in their unceasing search for that one extra channel, the occasional first-run movie, or the highly-prized pay-per-view sports events..

Minutes since the TV broke.

'Male and Female He created them.'

Penfriend

F&E Cable Co. Sports. Movies. Special. 500 Channels. When you list the options in the cable package, call it "BBC America," not "The English Channel."

"Please stay on the line....Your call is being ignored in the order in which it was received."

Santa's Problem

"The President said he hoped the bill would receive broad bipartisan support from within the Democratic Party."

Nest of cables

"The doctor says you can go home. We'll get cable."

'You taught him to speak, now teach him to turn down the volume!'

'It's a World War II portable phone and it works great when I have someone to crank it.'

"This medication may interact with paying your rent and being able to afford cable."

"We'll make you appear smart, but a little inarticulate - instead of somebody who is stupid and doesn't know what he's talking about."

'You read? What kind of entertainment is that?'

"Hello? Directory enquiries? This si the fourth time I've called for this *&^%()^ number"

"He must be a smart phone executive."

"We are currently experiencing an unusually high volume of calls and all our advisers are busy..."

"If you are having trouble landing please press one..."

"It's the school run."