Cable Television Enthusiast Gifts

'I never swear in front of my children. I spend good money on cable for that.'

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

TV jester.

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

"I find that hugely offensive!"

TV-Man

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

Big screen TV.

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"Which news channel should we watch?"

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"Would you like to sleep through the film or the variety show?"

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"It's not just the same old crap—it's wider."

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

"We laughed. We cried. But mostly we watched TV."

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

"I've had enough of watching grass grow. What's on the Paint Drying Channel?"

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

Must-See Lockdown TV.