Line Strategist Gifts

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"I AM at my usual position."

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

Fisherman Evolution: They have evolved over the years with three distinct species...the largest of these is the coarse fisherman.

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

"When the slowest car in the fast lane don't go any slower than the fastest car in the slow lane."

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

Internet Cafe.

Punishment for the kicker.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

"I'm having a party at my home, and you're all invited. Bob, you'll serve drinks. Anne, you serve the food. Ted, you'll park the car..."

'What makes you think we want to sell you son.'

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

Footballers - Kevin Keagan

Line Manager

'As you know, your father liked the sport of Boxing...'

Take Harris up in the company helicopter and throw him out.

'C'mon, it's only up to your knees!'

'I'm here to help, you can tell me anything in complete confidence Jane, Jill...whatever your name is!'

'She said to read between the lines to infer the answer, but it's hard to see in between them because they're so close together.'

'Why do I always pick the slow moving queue?'

Some line managers like to use graphs in performance management meetings.

'I don't want to mention any names, but one of you isn't giving 100% out there.'

"Of course he looks superior - he's the line manager!"

"Quick, Bartlett! Instill them with hope!"

"Great! Now I'm torn between whether to post rants on X or Meta."

Martin Jol

'I'm proud of the lads. They show'd a lot of character coming back from one down. . . then two or three silly goals. . . At this level you get punished. But overall I thought we were a bit unlucky. . .'

"It's NOT discrimination, Derek - it's just 'health and safety...'"

Sidewalk the game