Cabernet Aficionado Gifts

"I find a good cabernet is the best way to put my money where my mouth is."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Sauvignon Bonk

"Now I really hate poetry."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

You're the botanicals in my gin

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"I make it myself!"

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"Do you think there's ANY possibility that the 76 pints of lager,13 bottles of wine and 12 kilos of chocolate you've had MAY have contributed to you feeling 'a bit under the weather'?"

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

Wordplay: Export.

Woman thinking about luxuries.

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

Redhead

"So the wife says to me, you need to take the dog out..." "Wine list, please."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

'S'more wine?'

The wine-shop