Cabernet Aficionado Pillows

"I find a good cabernet is the best way to put my money where my mouth is."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Sauvignon Bonk

"Now I really hate poetry."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

You're the botanicals in my gin

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"I make it myself!"

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"Do you think there's ANY possibility that the 76 pints of lager,13 bottles of wine and 12 kilos of chocolate you've had MAY have contributed to you feeling 'a bit under the weather'?"

Redhead

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

Woman thinking about luxuries.

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

Wordplay: Export.

"So the wife says to me, you need to take the dog out..." "Wine list, please."

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

The wine-shop

'S'more wine?'

"What are they saying this week? Are coffee, chocolate, and wine good or bad for us?"