Buzzword Balancer Gifts

Political Speech Writer's Jargon In and Jargon Going Forward Desk Organizers.

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Yoga for Alcoholics

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

Yoga To-Do

Bee to bee: 'We used buzzwords before they were trendy.'

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

Information Tightrope.

"Let me through, please. I know what the letters C.P.R. stand for."

Hello-BUNS OF STEEL?

"O.K. What part of 'malignant regression and pathogenic reintrojection as a defense against psychic decompensation' don't you understand?"

'It has everything... I love it!'

"I'm learning to let go and have fun."

'I have no idea what a Wiki is but I want one on my desk next week, now move it, people!'

"Our brand is about talking about our brand."

Communicating with clients without using buzzwords posed a challenge for the consultants.

"Too much caution can take all the fun out of life." "Mind if I get a second opinion?"

Gads. I've forgotten today's buzzword.

"I enjoy eating healthy – I just don’t like the food."

They had no idea what they were doing, but it didn't matter...

"Excellent report! Totally incomprehensible and confusing! Not one of our board members will understand a word! Absolutely perfect!"

"Well, now it's been explained to you, 'Market Share' does not mean we want to share the market."

'Do you get the feeling that, in educational workshops, there are way too many buzzwords thrown around?'

'Warspeak department' making up new military terminology.

'Try thinking outside the cubicle.'