Buzzword Magician Gifts

"Those are not buzz words."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

Final words on gravestones.

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

Bee to bee: 'We used buzzwords before they were trendy.'

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

"Let me through, please. I know what the letters C.P.R. stand for."

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

"O.K. What part of 'malignant regression and pathogenic reintrojection as a defense against psychic decompensation' don't you understand?"

'It has everything... I love it!'

Mice taking lessons.

'Sir, what comes first ??" the buzz or the spin?'

Wordplay: Lemonade - Save the Lemon.

"Excellent report! Totally incomprehensible and confusing! Not one of our board members will understand a word! Absolutely perfect!"

"Our brand is about talking about our brand."

'I'll give you this, Hargrove - Your report was a perfect blend of cliches, banalities and platitudes.'

"I work in PR where I provide a dynamic and highly effective bespoke service that can work for you and blah blah blah ..."

'They decided to immure the ladrone in a drogue.'

They had no idea what they were doing, but it didn't matter...

'I have no idea what a Wiki is but I want one on my desk next week, now move it, people!'

Gads. I've forgotten today's buzzword.

Communicating with clients without using buzzwords posed a challenge for the consultants.

'Do you get the feeling that, in educational workshops, there are way too many buzzwords thrown around?'

''Big Society'...paradigm shift blah! Blah! Community spirit, neighbourhood cohesion, blah! Blah! Social inputs, perceptual platforms blah! Blah!'