Button Mashing Tactician Gifts

The gaming world.

Input From The Front Office

American Football.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Man and bird

"Look, there's even more buttons and stuff up there."

Musician

'We've simplified the control to 2 buttons - snooze and panic.'

Adult Education Evening Class: How to sort your rubbish.

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

"We can stop the bombardment - the castle surrendered."

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."

'Look up... Look down... Look at my thumb. Gee, You're...'

Doctor handing cell phone to patient: 'Here, take this and call me in the morning.'

Playing chess with a QR code for a chessboard

Buttons read - OK/Not OK/I'm OK but I still want to cancel.

"Workboy"

Coiled snake.'Act calm,relax,take a deep breath and reach for your knife slowly.'

'Upon further review, the ruling on the field is upheld. The catch was totally constitutional. Touchdown!'

'That was some hit!'

'Have you any other skills outside of being able to shoot down 250,000 droids in a video game?'

"Cousin Magdalena likes pushing Tia Carmen's buttons, doesn't she?"

"I take serious offense to their offense. And I am feeling very defensive about our defense. Would somebody give me a damn hug? Now Please?"

"Is anybody listening to me?"

Consoles.

'Well, you're right, you're not touching the ball with your hands, so the Ref can't penalize you...'

Sale.

'Focus on the kick, and forget about all the seven-foot tall kick blockers they have.'

'May I go home now?'

'I don't suppose he's congratulating him on his performance.'

"It's always, 'hey God, thank for the win! It's never, 'hey God, need tickets?"

"I periodically remove your names to emphasize the team concept, but now I'm just hoping to buy some time for those of you with arrest warrants."

Eargerness: A dangerously maladaptive emotional affliction that results from insufficient experience. Antidote: more experience.