Button-mashing Father Gifts

"Do you have any video games that would help reduce my role as a father?"

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

I wish you kids would get off your electronics and learn a practical skill. Work with your hands! What does he think we're doing?!! Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

"Dad, can we please just buy a week wacker?"

'Genius! Art class and snack time!'

"Dad, I'm playing the role of the husband in our school play!"

"Look, there's even more buttons and stuff up there."

"It was at this point that our wives left us."

"The head, the head! I told you, always support the baby's head!"

'We've simplified the control to 2 buttons - snooze and panic.'

"I couldn't find the off switch."

Thank you for being able to celebrate in person and remotely. That you for the first responders who keep us safe. Thank you for the healthcare works who keep us healthy. Thank you for farmers and others who made this feast possible. Thank you for those who make pants with strong buttons!

Consoles.

"It suddenly occurred to Professor Meadows that he'd not seen or heard his naughty nephew Darren for a while."

"Cousin Magdalena likes pushing Tia Carmen's buttons, doesn't she?"

Bob's Unexpected Father's Day Gift...

'Have you any other skills outside of being able to shoot down 250,000 droids in a video game?'

'May I go home now?'

Dads.

The gaming world.

Eargerness: A dangerously maladaptive emotional affliction that results from insufficient experience. Antidote: more experience.

This is a new talking copier, you've pushed the wrong button, mutton head!

You stink at Halo 5. I have no thumbs!

'I don't know...go ask your computer.'

"No, son, a tax shelter is not where you go to rescue an accountant."

'You aren't very good with children, are you Dad?'

'Press the X button to throw the stick, the triangle button to run...'

"Please, Kaitlin, not while daddy's obsessing."

'My son has a science fair coming up and he was wondering if you wouldn't mind putting some unpopped popcorn in your mouth.'

'There's no dial tone on this.'