Butler Aficionado Gifts

Doggie dining table

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

Vivienne Westwood

"I say we move on to dessert."

"I don't care what job you want, Bagshaw, for God's sake dress for the job you have!"

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

The Royal Wii

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

"Jewelry store, visit our ATM."

'Frank, I think it's about time you bought another pair of boots.'

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

'The butler did it.'

'It never fails. The mud's always one inch higher than my boots.'

'Ah, Reeves - it's lonely on top!'

Culinary Culture.

'Doctor, one placebo or two with your tea?'

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

Hit me with that crazy cha cha again, James!

Trustworthy Authority.

'New money or old money?'

Now that, my dear James, is what I call a Dog's Breakfast...

Gentleman discovering that his servants have been eating most of his good meat

Recollections of a Retired Butler

Mistress Talking to Maid

"Templeton, its Friday, so be so good as to inform her ladyship that it's sex after bridge this evening"

The Little Old Lady Goes Fishing.

"You rang, m'lord?"

"Good evening, Mr. Harper, and how is Mrs. Harper?"