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Doggie dining table

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

"I say we move on to dessert."

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"I don't care what job you want, Bagshaw, for God's sake dress for the job you have!"

The Royal Wii

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

"Jewelry store, visit our ATM."

'Frank, I think it's about time you bought another pair of boots.'

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

Culinary Culture.

'The butler did it.'

'Ah, Reeves - it's lonely on top!'

'Doctor, one placebo or two with your tea?'

'It never fails. The mud's always one inch higher than my boots.'

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

Hit me with that crazy cha cha again, James!

'New money or old money?'

Now that, my dear James, is what I call a Dog's Breakfast...

Trustworthy Authority.

Gentleman discovering that his servants have been eating most of his good meat

"Templeton, its Friday, so be so good as to inform her ladyship that it's sex after bridge this evening"

"You rang, m'lord?"

"Miss Penny to inquire about the tardiness of evening kibble."

Recollections of a Retired Butler

"Good evening, Mr. Harper, and how is Mrs. Harper?"

Mistress Talking to Maid