Butler Admiration Gifts

"Regift the bicycle, Charles, but put this in my Panama pile."

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

Pirate

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

Reginald Bunthorne

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

Shakespeare's Brain

"I say we move on to dessert."

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

The Royal Wii

"I don't care what job you want, Bagshaw, for God's sake dress for the job you have!"

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

Sir Desmond Murgatroyd

'Look Chaucer, there goes that rotten plagiarist Shakespeare again!'

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

Culinary Culture.

'Ah, Reeves - it's lonely on top!'

'The butler did it.'

'Doctor, one placebo or two with your tea?'

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

Hit me with that crazy cha cha again, James!

Trustworthy Authority.

Gentleman discovering that his servants have been eating most of his good meat

'New money or old money?'

Now that, my dear James, is what I call a Dog's Breakfast...

Iron clad sailors

Royal Picnic

Recollections of a Retired Butler

"Ya, that's right. Blame the help."