Butchery Assistant Gifts

Butchers instructions for customers' meat sound as though he is talking about people

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'Steak Ted?'

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Rump roast?"

View to the Future

Important Food Groups

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

A Bloody Butcher

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

Artisan hot dog stand has pigs tethered to it.

Deliboys

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

The pig that had a glimpse of the afterlife.

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"We get all our meat from a man dressed like a butcher."

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

Where Ignorance is Bliss.

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

'Our guest tonight certainly needs no introduction.'

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

'Beef Counselor - mad cow, foot and mouth, diet, nutrition, ethics'

*=Hotdog