Diy Butcher Aficionado Gifts

DIY Butchers

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'Steak Ted?'

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Rump roast?"

View to the Future

A Bloody Butcher

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

Important Food Groups

'I love it when you spoon me.'

Artisan hot dog stand has pigs tethered to it.

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

Deliboys

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

The pig that had a glimpse of the afterlife.

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

Where Ignorance is Bliss.

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

"We get all our meat from a man dressed like a butcher."

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'