Butcher Gifts

"It's your ribs. I'm afraid they're delicious."

"Do you ever ask yourself 'humanely raised' for what?"

Free-range chicken. Back in one hour.

Dec. 26

Pulled Pork Farm.

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

'I dunno. Maybe we need a new slogan.'

"It looks like you're the main stakeholder in this business."

'What can you give me for my liver?' 'A pound of onions!'

"I just sold the last T-bone, so this may take a while"

'I'm tired of being treated like a piece of meat.'

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

Wingless chickens outside of a shop selling chicken wings

'And exactly where did you find the 'antique salami slicer'?'

Always the entrepreneur, Sam could make a dollar in any situation.

Noah's first venture after the flood.

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

Sausage Machine

Pigs at butcher: 'One day son, all this will be you..'

'Some PCB' - 'Little PCB' - 'No PCB'.

Eat more pork.

"Let me know if you find a ring."

'The bad news is we have to amputate your liver - the good news is it'll be great with onions!'

The vegetarian butcher.

"Wait, I'm not just a turkey! I'm also an N.F.T.—a thing that you don't understand but that your friends have told you to invest in and definitely not eat."

'You'd better come with us, sir.'

Pork Stock Exchange

"Are your chops humanely chopped?"

A Cow's Last Will and Testament

Where Summer Sausage Comes From...

Artist depicts cow as large steak.

'Florist...say it with flowers' 'Butcher...say it with pork chops.'

I assure you the animals didn't suffer. All of our meat comes from animals who died naturally of old age while vacationing in Miami.

"I'm looling for ground beef that's organic, non-GMO, and doesn't contain meat."

'I hope you're hungry!'