Business Strategy Gifts

'The Overthrow of the Erie Ring'

"Hold everything! The P.R. department just sent over this chart."

'By setting the sales goal after the sales, we're able to consistently maintain an above average sales quota.'

'Everything on black is not a risk management strategy, Hoskins.'

'Excellent meeting. I loved the quick fixes, the simple solutions, and the easy answers.'

"Obviously, wishful thinking alone won't turn things around. It's going to take wishful thinking combined with some powerful new jargon!"

"Something about this proposed merger with Wickery Basket Company makes me nervous."

"Do we want to just flip a coin, or hire expensive consultants so they can flip a coin?"

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

'We've considered every potential risk except the risks of avoiding all risks.'

'What if we don't change at all ... and something magical just happens?'

'Could you bring in that list of risk factors you downloaded yesterday?'

'I've been restructured.'

Manufacturing will take place in China...So what role does Europe have?...you borrow money to be the customer

'The sales team did all they could, so I'd have to say the blame for that must fall on the consumer.'

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

"Not the most impressive strategic plan I've ever seen."

'It's a simple two-part strategy. First, locate the hills. Then head for them.'

'The boss wants me to create a computer algorithm that can convert hindsight into foresight.'

"The question is: shall we follow the 5 year, 12 million dollar task force recommendations, or just wing it as we go along?"

'I thought you could help me fill in the details.'

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

The Big Picture Department...

'Believe me, targets are essential!'

"Strategic plan B: We chop down all the office plants and grow vegetables."

'Unfortunately when our last window of opportunity opened up, we mistakenly crawled out of it rather than into it.'

'Get me public relations!'

'We had a group think about implementing paradigm shifting re-prioritisations of our inward facing media strategy in order to enhance our communication with the average man on the street.'

'I'd like to push the envelope, go the extra mile, and think outside the box to facilitate a win-win solution to the over-utilization of buzzwords.'

'I have identified 240 stages of organizational change. Before I discuss them, coffee anyone?'

'The plan is to market our original product as a new product...'

'At Filmore holdings, we don't break the law. We donate to politicians to change the law.'

'I eliminated all the platitudes and cliche statements, from your mission statement, and I'm left with this blank sheet of paper.'

'Sometimes it's good to see the big picture.'

"I'm afraid pretty much every esoteric company name is taken so we're left with 'Mugwump', 'Grungydink' or 'Buh'."