Corporate Strategy Gifts

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

"That happy little cloud floating over the Unicorp Building? I want that."

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

'...Any ideas for a product?'

'I was looking for a little stronger mission statement than that.'

'The good news is, profits are up 74%, the bad news is, we don't know why.'

"That's unanimous then - we don't know what to do."

"It's agreed. I'll try to get the best of you and you'll try to get the best of me."

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I chose the one that said, 'Mergers, acquisitions, incredible bonuses.'"

"The meeting's at 10. I'll send you a copy of the agenda, the hidden agenda and your personal agenda."

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"Today's top priority is prioritizing our priorities."

"This month's business meeting is the same as last month's business meeting but with many more problems."

"I recommend that we seize this opportunity to redefine success."

'Unfortunately, we were a little off-target again this quarter.'

'...or is that too Microsoft?'

"There sits the unvarnished truth. Now, how shall we interpret it to our advantage?"

A fight in the Boardroom.

'What I'm challenging this group to do, then, is to redirect our shared passion for the idea of making money into actually making money!'

'No more mergers until I get this one cleaned up.'

'Things look much better long-term, once we pass the statute of limitations.'

'But APART from increased profitability, better customer support, enhanced margins, reduced stress and improved staff morale WHAT is the POINT of all this emphasis on increased PRODUCTIVITY?'

'Behind every great business deal is a company lawyer advising against it.'

"Well, I've finished the project on time and on budget!" "That means I've given you too much time and too much money!"

'We deny most claims, but that's how we keep your premiums so low.'

"We need to eliminate the middleman."

'I miss the good ole days when the world paid little or no attention to us.'

"Thanks to my cost-cutting policies, profits are up 59%."

Strategic Planning Magnetic Kit showing words such as 'increase,' 'global,' 'leading,' and 'profitable'

'Rather than Jones becoming a team player with you guys, I prefer that you become team players with Jones.'

"What we didn't have but obviously needed was an alarmist."

"The only problem I see here is that most of us plan to be out of here in three years."

"Let me stop you right there. Look, you're paid to keep the competition out of our territory. I don't need to hear all the grizzly details."

"I hope this makes it clearer?"