Business Comic Fan Gifts

'It's time you had a key to the executive washroom, Henderson - Be sure to lock up when you're done cleaning.'

'Have your people Soo-Wee my people.'

"Would you mind repeating my job description?"

'It's the perfect job if self-respect isn't a factor.'

'Our employees at all levels get desk nameplates.'

"Am I the only one who sees what's wrong with these pictures?"

"There's no need to take notes. I don't know what I'm talking about."

"So, what did the boss think of your suggestion we spend more money on truck safety?"

ABX Corp. Now hiring: Stunt persons to take the fall for our Head Honcho.

'I hate this solution to executive bonuses and rewards!'

'I'd really like to kick you upstairs, Morton, but unfortunately there is no upstairs.'

'I want you guys to be aware that a dog-eat-dog environment works for me.'

'Good news is, the number of complaints went down to zero. Bad news is, the number of sales went down to zero, too.'

CEO and higher on the food chain than you!

'You understand, Yomp, it's not me speaking. It's the corporation!'

Acme downsizing

Mumbling truth to power.

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

Meet Grant, he came up through the ranks.

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

'I have serious doubts about the efficiency of that new 'apples and bucket' hiring test.'

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

"It's not downsizing—it's just that we have 976 employees who have chosen to spend more time with their families."

Personally, I always had a feeling we'd land on our feet.

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."