Business World Comic Fan Gifts

'You can see Mr. Chisholm, but he's pay-per-view.'

"It's that new troubleshooter you hired, sir -- He got himself in the foot."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

'This year, executive bonuses are tied to performance. You owe us $50,000.'

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

'I have serious doubts about the efficiency of that new 'apples and bucket' hiring test.'

"Here's a manual of our rules and a CD that covers our unwritten rules.

'This is the latest management structure...It'll help you see where you fit in...'

'Look, I said I'd bring you the report on micromanaging. Just give me a chance.'

'You understand, Yomp, it's not me speaking. It's the corporation!'

"Congratulations. I'm promoting you from 'Yes Man' to 'Vice President in Charge of Affirmation.'"

'We don't have an opening at the moment, but if you'll wait one minute...'

'Stop complaining and be thankful we found a place for you in the restructuring!'

"Can't complain- it's against company policy."

Man reading 'How not to get caught.'

'Carson, this is the new organizational chart. This is you.'

"Think nothing of it, Llewellyn. In every large organisation there are leeks."

'I solved the union problem. I made everyone management!'

"Of course I'm making things worse. Do you think I'd work for what you're paying me if I knew how to make things better?"

'I'm sorry, but there's just no room in the budget for upward mobility... We're all making sacrifices...After all, I haven't been promoted in over twenty years.'

"At least we no longer have the pressure of handling so much money."

'This is a rationalization dog. He's trained to go for spare employees.'

'I hear they bought out Winken, Blinken and Nod.'

'Come along, Caswell, we have a new slot for you in accounting.'

'Work production rose significantly once we closed all the curtains in the windows.'

"Sorry honey, I'll be late. The boss told me to stay."

"Yes, I suppose attention seeking may be considered by some as an asset, but frankly we need more than that."

"What would a competent person do?"

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

"Sorry, Barnes, but you're not getting credit for that deal you closed. You tested positive for job performance enhancing drugs."