Business Comic Lover Gifts

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

'Chairman and Chief Executive'

'I've decided to recall our latest drug because of one side effect - law suits.'

"And so I said 'J.B., everybody knows THAT dog won't hunt!'"

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

'Apparently Genwetronix merged with BioSolutions, and neither chairman wanted to leave.'

'According to these numbers, our profit will be peanuts!'

"Congratulations. I'm promoting you from 'Yes Man' to 'Vice President in Charge of Affirmation.'"

"I've decided to waive my bonus and hold out for a dismissal for incompetence. It pays even better!"

"I don't recall ever hearing the stockholders speak with such a unified voice as they did today!"

"Nothing personal. I just don't think you're a good fit for this company."

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

'An exxpert team set up a team of special consultants, that then set up a committee whose members asked their 7 year old kids. Now 14 months later they've concluded we're not efficient enough.'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

Meet Grant, he came up through the ranks.

"Has anyone mentioned that you're management now, …… You don't get overtime."

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

High Noon at the O.K. Staff Meeting

'He insists on being a part of the corporate pipeline.'

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

Personally, I always had a feeling we'd land on our feet.

"Your records indicate a great deal of early promise however you've apparently become old and bald."

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

'Whenever they discuss trickle-down economics, I have to go to the bathroom.'

"However, we're doing rather well, according to uninformed sources."

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"