Business Comedy Lovers Gifts

'This is Thompson, he'll be getting your tea department online and working on it's global brand.'

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

'...and so you see our profits, not unlike Sir Isaac Newton, have felt the effects of gravity.'

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

'An exxpert team set up a team of special consultants, that then set up a committee whose members asked their 7 year old kids. Now 14 months later they've concluded we're not efficient enough.'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

"Has anyone mentioned that you're management now, …… You don't get overtime."

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

Business cartoon showing sales declining so much that they bounce off the floor.

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

'Here's the CEO - Chief Egotistical Official!'

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

High Noon at the O.K. Staff Meeting

'He insists on being a part of the corporate pipeline.'

"It all looks fine to me."

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

"Your records indicate a great deal of early promise however you've apparently become old and bald."

"However, we're doing rather well, according to uninformed sources."

'Whenever they discuss trickle-down economics, I have to go to the bathroom.'

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

"It's a wonderful partner's desk-but we think they didn't get along."

"It's not downsizing—it's just that we have 976 employees who have chosen to spend more time with their families."

Personally, I always had a feeling we'd land on our feet.

Sharks' Mission Statement

Business Promotion.

"I hear you've got quite a reputation with the girls around the office."