Business Comics Fan Gifts

"Why do I think the company's CFO has taken downsizing too far? That's the company's CFO!"

"Of course I'm making things worse. Do you think I'd work for what you're paying me if I knew how to make things better?"

"Being a CEO is a bit like being a football manager. . ."

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

Meet Grant, he came up through the ranks.

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

'I have serious doubts about the efficiency of that new 'apples and bucket' hiring test.'

"Here's a manual of our rules and a CD that covers our unwritten rules.

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

Personally, I always had a feeling we'd land on our feet.

"It's not downsizing—it's just that we have 976 employees who have chosen to spend more time with their families."

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

"Your records indicate a great deal of early promise however you've apparently become old and bald."

'This is the latest management structure...It'll help you see where you fit in...'

'Look, I said I'd bring you the report on micromanaging. Just give me a chance.'

"I hear you've got quite a reputation with the girls around the office."

Man reading 'How not to get caught.'

"Congratulations. I'm promoting you from 'Yes Man' to 'Vice President in Charge of Affirmation.'"

'We don't have an opening at the moment, but if you'll wait one minute...'

"Can't complain- it's against company policy."

"The floor is open for suggestions."

'Stop complaining and be thankful we found a place for you in the restructuring!'

'You understand, Yomp, it's not me speaking. It's the corporation!'

'Carson, this is the new organizational chart. This is you.'

"Think nothing of it, Llewellyn. In every large organisation there are leeks."

'I solved the union problem. I made everyone management!'

'Look, if we're going to make this business work, we need to stop eating all the stock.'