Business Cartoon Fan Gifts

'First have a seat, Hadley, then tell me your reasons for deserving a salary increase.'

Drug side-effects lose millions.

"That efficiency expert you hired said I should get rid of you."

Kibble, I've noticed your latest reports are becoming far too autobiographical.

"You have to follow the guidance on dealing with complaints precisely or else the shredder gets blocked."

"Looks like we found the issue."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

'No matter how cynical I become, I can't keep up.'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

Non-Power Breakfast

"He'll do anything to say in power."

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

"In accordance with our new 'sharing of responsibilities initiative,' you'll all be responsible for getting my coffee." i

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

Scapegoat of the Year

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

Told you...Nonsense compulsive disorder.

"Comparing our salaries with the workers' salaries makes me cry...with laughter!"

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

You said you wanted me to speak to the chairman of Hardcastle industries - I've just realised that's me.

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

"It's a swearbox."

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

'And these are the projections if we stop doing silly things like paying the employees.'

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

"Already sold your soul to the company? Listen, I'll have my people talk to their people."

Pizza time.

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

'You'll never succeed until the kissing up becomes instinctual.'