Business Cartoon Fan Pillows

'First have a seat, Hadley, then tell me your reasons for deserving a salary increase.'

Drug side-effects lose millions.

"That efficiency expert you hired said I should get rid of you."

Kibble, I've noticed your latest reports are becoming far too autobiographical.

"You have to follow the guidance on dealing with complaints precisely or else the shredder gets blocked."

"Looks like we found the issue."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

'No matter how cynical I become, I can't keep up.'

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

"He'll do anything to say in power."

Non-Power Breakfast

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

"In accordance with our new 'sharing of responsibilities initiative,' you'll all be responsible for getting my coffee." i

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

Scapegoat of the Year

"Comparing our salaries with the workers' salaries makes me cry...with laughter!"

You said you wanted me to speak to the chairman of Hardcastle industries - I've just realised that's me.

Told you...Nonsense compulsive disorder.

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

"It's a swearbox."

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

'And these are the projections if we stop doing silly things like paying the employees.'

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

'I know you're the heart of the organization, but we're getting a transplant.'

"Gentlemen, may I present our company's future. A buggy whip... with Bluetooth!"

"Already sold your soul to the company? Listen, I'll have my people talk to their people."

'You'll never succeed until the kissing up becomes instinctual.'

Pizza time.