Business Cartoon Admirer Pillows

"I have the profit sharing figures. You owe the company �2,367.25."

Sales chart drips into coffee cup.

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

"In accordance with our new 'sharing of responsibilities initiative,' you'll all be responsible for getting my coffee." i

You said you wanted me to speak to the chairman of Hardcastle industries - I've just realised that's me.

'I know you're the heart of the organization, but we're getting a transplant.'

Pizza time.

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

"While you were out, Mr. Sundberg, the little hand went from the one to the three."

'I'm the CEO of a large corporation. Of course my cough is productive. Everything I do is productive.'

'You understand, Yomp, it's not me speaking. It's the corporation!'

"Congratulations. I'm promoting you from 'Yes Man' to 'Vice President in Charge of Affirmation.'"

'You've been with the company for 20 years Harvey, you make an excellent wage, get 4 weeks paid vacation... I'm going to have to let you go.'

"There goes the person that proved the Peter principal faster than anyone in history."

...your sales are rather anemic

'Carson, this is the new organizational chart. This is you.'

Acme Graph Company.

Car Rides - Cats

'I never question your ability. I never even mention it.'

"We've lowered our IPO price so many times, the Street's referring to it as an Initial Pathetic Offer."

"Worn out by preparing his presentation? Actually, this is his presentation."

"Bad news. The board's decided to cryogenically freeze your department indefinitely."

'I want you guys to be aware that a dog-eat-dog environment works for me.'

Snow cones being sold in a snow globe.

"Sorry, Barnes, but you're not getting credit for that deal you closed. You tested positive for job performance enhancing drugs."

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

"I don't recall ever hearing the stockholders speak with such a unified voice as they did today!"

"I know you need some certainty in your job, so you're fired."

'It's the perfect job if self-respect isn't a factor.'

"Would you mind repeating my job description?"

'...overall incompetence has begun to level off.'

"You have to follow the guidance on dealing with complaints precisely or else the shredder gets blocked."

Decision makers: 'Out for...maybe 2 hours, who knows?'

'According to these numbers, our profit will be peanuts!'

"I was thinking about leaving until I found out they were going to waterboard me during the exit interview."