Business Cartoon Aficionado Pillows

'I never question your ability. I never even mention it.'

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

"Hey...look...I'm prepared to admit that I might have been wrong, but...I think it's time to draw a line under it... and y'know...move on..."

"The president says there isn't a flood. What's the harm in humoring him?" "Hey! Would somebody pull Lindsey up for air?"

Mission Kinda Accomplished

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

"In accordance with our new 'sharing of responsibilities initiative,' you'll all be responsible for getting my coffee." i

You said you wanted me to speak to the chairman of Hardcastle industries - I've just realised that's me.

ANOTHER FINE MESS, INC.

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"Here's a manual of our rules and a CD that covers our unwritten rules.

'I know you're the heart of the organization, but we're getting a transplant.'

Pizza time.

"While you were out, Mr. Sundberg, the little hand went from the one to the three."

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

"I have the profit sharing figures. You owe the company �2,367.25."

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

Body Language Expert - 'You don't like your job do you?'

'I'll be a little late with those reports, sir -- my desk organizer crashed.'

Thank You, Goals Achieved... and then some!

More Pardons

...your sales are rather anemic

"Congratulations. I'm promoting you from 'Yes Man' to 'Vice President in Charge of Affirmation.'"

"What's your position on the Strait of Hormuz?"

"Sorry, new style pain killer. It's the cut-backs I'm afraid."

'You understand, Yomp, it's not me speaking. It's the corporation!'

'You've been with the company for 20 years Harvey, you make an excellent wage, get 4 weeks paid vacation... I'm going to have to let you go.'

"Can't complain- it's against company policy."

'Rabner is tops in customer retention.'

"Of course I'm making things worse. Do you think I'd work for what you're paying me if I knew how to make things better?"

Peace in Gaza?