Business Cartoon Aficionado Pillows

'I never question your ability. I never even mention it.'

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

"Hey...look...I'm prepared to admit that I might have been wrong, but...I think it's time to draw a line under it... and y'know...move on..."

"The president says there isn't a flood. What's the harm in humoring him?" "Hey! Would somebody pull Lindsey up for air?"

Mission Kinda Accomplished

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

"In accordance with our new 'sharing of responsibilities initiative,' you'll all be responsible for getting my coffee." i

ANOTHER FINE MESS, INC.

You said you wanted me to speak to the chairman of Hardcastle industries - I've just realised that's me.

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"Here's a manual of our rules and a CD that covers our unwritten rules.

Pizza time.

'I know you're the heart of the organization, but we're getting a transplant.'

"While you were out, Mr. Sundberg, the little hand went from the one to the three."

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

"I have the profit sharing figures. You owe the company �2,367.25."

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

'I'll be a little late with those reports, sir -- my desk organizer crashed.'

Body Language Expert - 'You don't like your job do you?'

"Can't complain- it's against company policy."

Thank You, Goals Achieved... and then some!

...your sales are rather anemic

'You've been with the company for 20 years Harvey, you make an excellent wage, get 4 weeks paid vacation... I'm going to have to let you go.'

"Sorry, new style pain killer. It's the cut-backs I'm afraid."

More Pardons

"What's your position on the Strait of Hormuz?"

'You understand, Yomp, it's not me speaking. It's the corporation!'

"Congratulations. I'm promoting you from 'Yes Man' to 'Vice President in Charge of Affirmation.'"

'Rabner is tops in customer retention.'

"Of course I'm making things worse. Do you think I'd work for what you're paying me if I knew how to make things better?"

Acme Graph Company.

Royalty, Episcopacy, and Law.