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"I have the profit sharing figures. You owe the company �2,367.25."

Sales chart drips into coffee cup.

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

"In accordance with our new 'sharing of responsibilities initiative,' you'll all be responsible for getting my coffee." i

You said you wanted me to speak to the chairman of Hardcastle industries - I've just realised that's me.

'I know you're the heart of the organization, but we're getting a transplant.'

Pizza time.

"While you were out, Mr. Sundberg, the little hand went from the one to the three."

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

'I'm the CEO of a large corporation. Of course my cough is productive. Everything I do is productive.'

"Congratulations. I'm promoting you from 'Yes Man' to 'Vice President in Charge of Affirmation.'"

'You understand, Yomp, it's not me speaking. It's the corporation!'

"There goes the person that proved the Peter principal faster than anyone in history."

'You've been with the company for 20 years Harvey, you make an excellent wage, get 4 weeks paid vacation... I'm going to have to let you go.'

...your sales are rather anemic

'Carson, this is the new organizational chart. This is you.'

Acme Graph Company.

'I never question your ability. I never even mention it.'

Car Rides - Cats

"We've lowered our IPO price so many times, the Street's referring to it as an Initial Pathetic Offer."

"Worn out by preparing his presentation? Actually, this is his presentation."

Snow cones being sold in a snow globe.

"I know you need some certainty in your job, so you're fired."

'I want you guys to be aware that a dog-eat-dog environment works for me.'

"Sorry, Barnes, but you're not getting credit for that deal you closed. You tested positive for job performance enhancing drugs."

"Bad news. The board's decided to cryogenically freeze your department indefinitely."

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

"I don't recall ever hearing the stockholders speak with such a unified voice as they did today!"

'...overall incompetence has begun to level off.'

'It's the perfect job if self-respect isn't a factor.'

"Would you mind repeating my job description?"

"So, what did the boss think of your suggestion we spend more money on truck safety?"

'You should see Mr. Feeney in Room 201, sir -- he's our Vice-President in charge of unwelcome visitors.'

'I don't get along with my peers, but unfortunately, I have none.'

"I was thinking about leaving until I found out they were going to waterboard me during the exit interview."