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'So what you're saying is that we've been defunct and out of business for over two years and you've just been waiting for the right time to tell me?'

"Rogers, you have been warned...we do not jubilate in this office!"

Blind Leading The Blind

'...overall incompetence has begun to level off.'

"Bad news. The board's decided to cryogenically freeze your department indefinitely."

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

"In accordance with our new 'sharing of responsibilities initiative,' you'll all be responsible for getting my coffee." i

You said you wanted me to speak to the chairman of Hardcastle industries - I've just realised that's me.

'He insists on being a part of the corporate pipeline.'

Pizza time.

'I know you're the heart of the organization, but we're getting a transplant.'

"While you were out, Mr. Sundberg, the little hand went from the one to the three."

'Kroogshank, why do I think that you try to hide from responsibility?'

"I have the profit sharing figures. You owe the company �2,367.25."

'I do good work... unfortunately, I don't do it here.'

'I'll be a little late with those reports, sir -- my desk organizer crashed.'

Body Language Expert - 'You don't like your job do you?'

'You've been with the company for 20 years Harvey, you make an excellent wage, get 4 weeks paid vacation... I'm going to have to let you go.'

'You understand, Yomp, it's not me speaking. It's the corporation!'

"Congratulations. I'm promoting you from 'Yes Man' to 'Vice President in Charge of Affirmation.'"

"When you're finished with your Thanksgiving

"Look at them over there, looking all smug with their clients and accounts and stuff."

...your sales are rather anemic

We only have two things to fear - fear itself and someone getting a look at our books.

"Of course I'm making things worse. Do you think I'd work for what you're paying me if I knew how to make things better?"

'Since you're not happy here, we're moving you over there.'

"As you can see, the numbers for this year are much bigger."

"Your wife's on the phone...."

"I started at the bottom and worked my way up to not caring."

'Fair warning, I'm in one of my 'moods'.'

"Damn it, Franklin - when will you learn to delegate."

Acme Graph Company.