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"You're looking sharp today, Appleby."

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

Spot the difference.

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

Sign - Halt manager crossing

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

"It lost a little something in translation."

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

'Now, if you would all put on your glasses, we'll get a glimpse of our profits in 3D.'

ANOTHER FINE MESS, INC.

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

"Here's a manual of our rules and a CD that covers our unwritten rules.

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

'As you can clearly see, our profits continue to climb well into the third quarter.'

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

'I hate to let you go, Haskins, but I'm getting a larger car and I need more parking space.'

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

"Your records indicate a great deal of early promise however you've apparently become old and bald."

Personally, I always had a feeling we'd land on our feet.

Is there a spin doctor in the house?