Business Bluff Gifts

'Now here's my idea...we come up with a really high-priced drug to treat drug side effects...'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

A fight in the Boardroom.

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"What's a debenture?"

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

I'm a self-made man!

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

"Is it just a scary coincidence that the words 'changes' and 'unknown' both have 7 letters?"

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'