Business Buffs Gifts

'This contract proposal needs more work. I'm not experiencing any twinges of guilt over it.'

Businessman with two boxes: 'Nothing Ventured' and 'Nothing Gained'.

I am billing, therefore I am.

How to choose...

"I'll tell you how I got here - hours and hours of hard visualization."

"I spent hundreds of dollars on a course for entrepreneurs then found out the fire in my belly was acid reflux."

"We've travelled the world looking for our next C.E.O., as was foretold in our corporate legends. We think your little Tim might be that C.E.O."

"No, that's not our crude oil inventory, it's our cash inventory."

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

Venture scouts/Venture capitalists.

'Before I discuss the company's financial situation, anyone who doesn't want to see a grown man cry should leave the room.'

Men Looking for Work

"Do we still have a copy of the pep talk I gave on that day?"

"Team, I'd like to introduce Mr. Mandrake aka 'The Sales Magician'."

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

Movers and Shakers

"I wasn't very interested in numbers 'til I discovered you could make money out of them."

"I started my company on a shoestring and I've tripled my investment."

"The secret to my success is my ability to always land on my feet."

"Dammit, when will you research people learn that we're running a business here?"

"To meet the government requirements, I'm passing the extra costs to the consumer and our employees."

"By God, you're not a man who's afraid to fail."

CEO with SEO

'This chart illustrates how each of you will break into the industry.'

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

'Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.'

'We do a lot for the ecosystem.'

'It's amazing how fast a business can go from being in the pink to in the red.'

"This week, we speak with some creative young entrepreneurs who have taken what used to be an accessible, smoothly functioning public service and revamped it into a cash cow of a privatized system."

Businessman with people supporting his table.

"Sorry, Boss. I guess I wasn't thinking."

Capitalism

Wall St. Journal. Don't worry, sir -- As soon as the economy grinds to a complete halt, we plan to jump back on.

The four accountants of the apocalypse.

'Very nice, but I was hoping they'd be a little bit more obscene.'