Business Enthusiasts Gifts

'I know you want financial certainty for your business. Here it is, your business is certain to fail.'

"Lemonade is for suckers!"

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'Jones, you're like a $10 million baseball player who is batting .200...'

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

'You have heard of the 99 cent download. Well, I invented the 98 cent download.'

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

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The Rubber Ball Company

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

"Damnit, executive-trainees don't have 'accidents'."

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

"If I seem excited, Mr. Bolling, it's only because I know that I can make you a very rich man."

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

"With this company, it's like 'Adventure Capital."

"I love fast break business success."

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

Lemonade Stand With Free Wi-Fi

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

'Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.'

'I begin to question whether this startup ever had venture capital.'

'Since we downsized the board of directors profits are up 300 percent.'

"I spent hundreds of dollars on a course for entrepreneurs then found out the fire in my belly was acid reflux."

Businessman has Sterling Sign Shaved in Head.

'That's it gentlemen, we're broke. Anybody know any good jokes?'

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

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Welcome to Yellow Pages, Vermont

"Could you fellas tell me if there's anyplace around here where I could find a fax machine?"