Bluffing Gifts

'... Geez! This guy's got the poker face from hell.'

'I'm all in.'

'So Bob says to me, he says, 'steroid are the only way I can compete at the pro level'. I didn't have the nerve to tell him it has no effect in poker.'

A Bluffalo

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

"Wow. . . what's that?!"

Before the Internet

"Be creative...!"

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

'I don't know much about history, don't know much biology ... but we'll be OK if there's a round on song lyrics.'

'A message from the Vikings, sire. It says, 'we've got spirit! Yes, we do! We've got spirit! How about you!?'

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

"I have an obligation to the stockholders, not the employees!"

Academic Jeopardy - "The great unknowns and cosmic uncertainties of the universe are reduced by this number daily."

Quiz Night...

Switch on brain

"The official measure of an inch is three iPhones stacked on top of each other."

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

'Did you know there's a river in Brazil named after Amazon?'

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

Snowman Driver

'Now here's my idea...we come up with a really high-priced drug to treat drug side effects...'

"If Shakespeare were alive today, he would be driving this make of Sports Utility Vehicle."

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

"Right kids, there's no camp and no vacation, but Mommy and I are super excited to make this summer our best ever!"

Funky Facts: Elephants.

The Mom quiz show

"It takes me only one drink to get drunk. Its either the seventh or eighth."

The Wiki Man.

"What's the first letter of the alphabet?"

'I got my degree by watching JEOPARDY.'

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...