Business Banter Lover Pillows

"It's agreed. I'll try to get the best of you and you'll try to get the best of me."

"No need to remind me. I'm well aware that I've forgotten completely about you."

'Why didn't we get the Bodson account?' - 'We were outbribed by the competition.'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

'It certainly didn't take Charlie very long after his promotion to grow an impressive set of claws, did it?'

"That was quite a presentation you made at today's meeting, Larry. In fact, there were moments when you came perilously close to actually making a point!"

Long Speech Alarm at Company Dinner

Receptionist covers for boss by saying he's out of the office.

"Before we review our plans for the next quarter, I thought you all may want to keep in mind a little advice from my advisory panel."

Office temperature.

'Excellent presentation Wilson.'

"I knew I should never have left you in charge of the rubber bands!"

"I had it installed because he loves the sound of his own voice."

"All he has to offer is mindless blather. But from him, it sounds good."

'Lateral hires are always told we do things differently here.'

'How did you know I was in? My secretary told you I was out.'

"Don't worry, son. Daddy's not even on the bus, let alone the next to be thrown under it."

'What I don't like about computers is that you can't fire them.'

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

"It's not backstabbing if I tell our boss how lame you are while you're sitting here, is it?"

'Don't mention the piece of onion on his chin, or the custard on his tie.'

'He finds it easier to fire people this way.'

'You asked me to give 110%, well I'm asking for my 10% back.'

"So it comes down to this. Two people, but only one opening for a junior partner. Well Jenson? How are you going to compete with piggy-back rides?"

'Meet the Nobel Laureates of my sales department.'

"This is hand speaking. Would you like to slap a message into him?"

"At the end of the day, Maureen, wake me up."

"I can't give you ballpark figures, Al. The best I can do is ballparkish figures."

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

Spot the difference.

Boss's Desk Says No!

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."