Business Talk Lover Pillows

'Can I go before you? I'm in sales!'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

Boss's Desk Says No!

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

The Rubber Ball Company

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

'An exxpert team set up a team of special consultants, that then set up a committee whose members asked their 7 year old kids. Now 14 months later they've concluded we're not efficient enough.'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

Receptionist covers for boss by saying he's out of the office.

"Has anyone mentioned that you're management now, …… You don't get overtime."

"If I seem excited, Mr. Bolling, it's only because I know that I can make you a very rich man."

'I'll show you mine, if you show me yours.'

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

Of course I always start off by wooing a prospective candidate with talk of stimulating work,great colleagues and a reasonable work life balance...but the winning argument is always when I promise them enough money to choke a rhino.

Office temperature.

"I love fast break business success."

Lemonade Stand With Free Wi-Fi

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

'What I don't like about computers is that you can't fire them.'

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

The little engine that could delegate.

High Noon at the O.K. Staff Meeting

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

'He insists on being a part of the corporate pipeline.'

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

'We need to boost our earnings by giving our earnings a boost.'

'Whenever they discuss trickle-down economics, I have to go to the bathroom.'

"However, we're doing rather well, according to uninformed sources."

'Lateral hires are always told we do things differently here.'

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

'Since we downsized the board of directors profits are up 300 percent.'

"No need to remind me. I'm well aware that I've forgotten completely about you."