Business Communication Lover Pillows

"Sit, sir. Harvard M.B.A. I speak business patois."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

Create some buzz!

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

The Rubber Ball Company

"Any questions?"

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

Direct Marketing...

Receptionist covers for boss by saying he's out of the office.

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

Letter Collecting Nerd

"If I seem excited, Mr. Bolling, it's only because I know that I can make you a very rich man."

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

"Can I call you back? I've got a situation here."

Office temperature.

Lemonade Stand With Free Wi-Fi

"I wanted a Meticulous Monday or a Thorough Thursday report. This reads more like a Frivolous Friday."

"I love fast break business success."

'Let us pray...'

'What I don't like about computers is that you can't fire them.'

The Devil's in the detail!

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

The Thinker. The Listener

'I started out as a yes man, but I've evolved into a plucky devil's advocate who always sides with the boss in the end.'

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

'To make sure I get noticed I always talk in a big bold typeface.'