Business Banter Fan Pillows

"Sir, I have a question that's lunch-related."

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'I'll give you this, Henderson - you're no worse than anyone else.'

(Negotiating Breakthrough) (Rub my foot, would you, Hargraves?)

'Before you nodded off, your last statement was that we need to reinvigorate the company.'

'Rough meeting. You really got hung out to dry.'

Lord Alan Sugar

"Oh, I'm sorry, Berger. I must have accidentally pressed the 'Sycophant' button."

"Looks like we found the issue."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Boss's Desk Says No!

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

'No matter how cynical I become, I can't keep up.'

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Receptionist covers for boss by saying he's out of the office.

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

"He'll do anything to say in power."

Non-Power Breakfast

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

'I'll show you mine, if you show me yours.'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

Of course I always start off by wooing a prospective candidate with talk of stimulating work,great colleagues and a reasonable work life balance...but the winning argument is always when I promise them enough money to choke a rhino.

Office temperature.

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

Told you...Nonsense compulsive disorder.