Business Humor Lover Pillows

'Product diversification, I like that.'

'So, Smith, how do you feel negotiations are going?'

'Heard you had a fire last night.' 'Sh-h-h! It's tonight.'

'No more mergers until I get this one cleaned up.'

'John this is where you should declare your undying love and tell Miriam she's the wind beneath your wings...'

'Hey, no problem! I've always felt that a little sales resistance is a healthy thing!'

"The improvement is the higher price."

"Looks promising. I just hope you aren't leading us down the garden path again."

"I'm here to wind up the company."

'Our profit dropped because half of our salesmen are in 'How to increase the profit' - training, sir.'

High Noon at the O.K. Staff Meeting

Dialed the number, ordered the tapes and placed hundreds of little ads. Didn't hit a snag until step four: Just sit back and rake it in.

"Now remember, you can fool some of the people all of the time. Those are the ones you need to concentrate on."

'I'll covet this trophy right up to the time I sell it to met my payroll.'

"OK, people! What's wrong with this picture?"

Board of directors of a baby products company suck their thumbs after realising sales and profits are down.

'Our new range of products won't make out customers thin, but they will make our wallets fat!'

'You definitely need to reorganize. . . to many chiefs, not enough Indians.'

'It's an exciting new synthesis of the classical sales approach and the miracle of direct mail.'

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

'How long before I have to start paying attention?'

Wash Hands After Every Business Deal

"Seeing that you're an alley cat we're adding a morals clause."

"We run a very ethical company here. Anything unethical is outsourced."

'Huggins, our goal is to go green, so we're replacing you with this plant.'

"Frankly, I think it's time we take a long hard look at cat futures."

"Outrageous. Who put you up to this?"

'We did a great job obtaining non-profit tax status. That calls for bonuses all around!'

'He insists on being a part of the corporate pipeline.'

Business Promotion.

'I can't believe it! This is when I sent out a company memo advocating a win-win philosophy.'

'A good team leader inspires intense loyalty.'

Selling oil to the arabs - "I told you our sales manager was good."

"I'm sure looking forward to meeting the new management."

"As a sign of respect for you stockholders, our CEO will use his one phone call from prison to take questions about the recent negative publicity."