Bushfire Bard Gifts

Australia, n: Combustible desert continent inhabited by a coastal race that keeps rediscovering fire.

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

Baseball batting cage theater La Cage Aux Folles.

Now may not be a good time,he just found out he's not going to live forever.

"This next one is a typical blues number about exceeding your data plan limit, cracking your ipad screen, and losing your new ear buds."

Cow writer.

'Insofar as hard figures are still unavailable, our Mr.Rendleman has written a poem which explores the essence of the firm's situation.'

Raton the Bull (el toro asesino) - The killer bull.

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

'Go and hunt for your own lunch. Who do you think I am, Ray Mears?!'

The Cause of the Australian Bushfires

"Yes, I know, Munger. But Wallace Stevens didn't scribble his damned verses on company time."

"We had a huge fight on our first date, too."

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

"Definitely work-related."

"I'll have the chicken or the eggs benedict—whichever of them comes first."

"I think that I shall never see a tree on which I wouldn't pee."

Matador.

"I see a red cape, oh wait, be warned: There's a sword hidden under it!"

"You had me at ole."

'You don't want to show favouritism Bruce-it upsets the others.'

'Yeah, but did you hear the crowd roar when I hooked the cape out of your hands?'

"Langsford, will you please stop interjecting quotes from Kahlil Gibran?"

Real men have facial hair.

"This time, she went too far."

'Well, if you can't stand confrontation, why on earth did you become a bullfighter?'

"I saw the wariness in your eyes when you learned that I was plucked from academia to run this company, so I thought I'd allay your concerns by writing this sonnet."

Bullfighting might be more widely accepted if it had a different name. They should call it "dodgebull"! (Published originally on April 27, 2015.)

'Hey, buddy, what are you looking at?'

"To be or not to have been...no, that won't do. To be or not to be, that is the conundrum. Hmmm..."