Burrow Aficionados Pillows

Dear Folks, it's lonely at the top.

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

'Trains traditionally run late, it rains on bank holidays and Yorkshire pudding is a main course.'

"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

"Holy cow! This is bourbon!" "My husband is from Kentucky."

'He's going to need more bourbon.'

Walking here to the tavern allows me to decrease my carbon footprint and increase my bourbon footprint.

'Space is not an issue: I'll just dig out a few more rooms...'

The Water Diviner

When moles dream...

"Must be some kind of cult movie."

'Oops, sorry...'

A recent poll of 30,000 Britains voted Winston Churchill the greatest Briton of all time, John Lennon was eigth.

'No fish, but Junior made his first burp word.'

'As soon as we exchaged vows we started exchanging barbs.'

"Nice shirt. Is it made of boyfriend material?"

"Is it gold yet?"

'Of course we have the finest facilities in the league. This locker room has leather bench seating, cold a.c., and even plenty of cup holders.'

Angels' wings and robes on clothesline in heaven.

Belching plant

'I called it first!'

"I'm sorry, but we don't serve women here."

Eyebrow Fashion Tips

You are NOT here, here, here, here, here, here,here, here, or here.

Bird with sign reading: Nothing left to crow about - any change.

"November 15, 2063 – leonard's eyebrows finally achieve singularity.

"Three Wild Turkeys."

British Empire Illustration

'Unfortunately the TV deal allows the production company free reign on all publicity.'

'I always say, when the day gives you lemons, make a lemon drop shot.'

"Your eyebrows have gone viral. Get some tweezers."